Is it a Listening or Remembering Issue?
“How many times do I have to tell you?” We’ve heard, said or thought that question a million times during our lives. I’ve frequently said to my husband, “I know you answered my question, but this time I promise to listen.” This promise often came when I failed to listen to information I really wanted!
The Difficulty of Listening and Remembering
What’s up with our difficulty in listening, and remembering? Studies show there are two things that make listening and remembering hard. One is the amount of repetition that we need; the other is the variety of ways in which the information is reinforced. Our memories are perfect immediately after we hear something. We only remember about half of the information 25 minutes later. After 10 hours, we are lucky if we remember anything.
Imagine all the ways that forgetting affects us. Do any of these sound familiar?
- Kids don’t follow parents’ rules.
- Work deadlines are missed.
- Health instructions aren’t followed.
- Dates are left alone at the table when the time is changed.
- Relationships and productivity suffer.
- We are stressed- we know there’s something we should know, but can’t remember.
4 Tips to Improve Memories
We live in a distracted culture. How do we improve our listening skills and memories?
1) Use more than just the sense of hearing.
- Look at the speaker while they speak.
- Clarify with the speaker (“What you said is…”).
- Put it in your own words
- Write it down.
- Focus on the message and its meaning.
- If possible add an action to the message.
2) Listen multiple times.
- Ask the speaker to repeat information
- Repeat it to yourself.
3) Find a gracious way of asking again when you have forgotten.
4) Forgive others when you are repeatedly asked for the same information.
In summary, Decrease your stress and improve your relationships and productivity at work by applying these tips!
Be sure to let me know how they have worked for you. I love hearing from you! Contact Dr. Beth.
ABOUT DR. BETH PLACHETKA
THERAPIST FOR ADULTS AND ADOLESCENTS
As a licensed clinical social worker, therapist, speaker, adjunct professor in the School of Social Work at Aurora University and president of Safe Harbor Counseling in Sugar Grove, Illinois, Beth Plachetka, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MAEL brings 40 years of experience helping individuals, families and groups address and resolve psychological, social and interpersonal issues.
Dr. Beth’s expertise in assessing and strengthening relationships is applied in private practice counseling, school social work, teaching, and speaking engagements. As a therapist, Dr. Beth works closely with her clients to help them evaluate their progress and re-chart their course, so they can learn strategies, build confidence and identify support systems to gain the strength and confidence required for lasting change. Contact Dr. Beth for counseling.
SPEAKER FOR ORGANIZATIONS
For organizations to succeed and thrive, strong workplace relationships must be respectful, collaborative and in line with the mission and goals. If professional relationships are poor, it leaves a negative impact on the organization and customers suffer.
Beth’s knowledge of the importance of relationships at work is supported by her dissertation that focuses on adult bullying in the school setting and by earning her doctorate in curriculum and instruction. Her deep practical knowledge to identify and realign workplace relationships in educational systems and faith institutions provides her with the expertise required to improve team productivity and professional relationships.
Presenting on a variety of topics related to bullying and mental health, Beth uses humor as well as effective and practical strategies to improve workplace culture, counteract the devastation of bullying and mitigate the symptoms that result from workplace bullying. Beth’s presentations reflect her years of experience as a teacher with clearly stated objectives, outcomes, activities and interactions that both inspire and educate. Contact Dr. Beth to speak at your next event.
With licenses and certificates in elementary education, school social work, clinical social work and educational leadership, her family fondly (at least she hopes it’s fondly) refers to her as “certifiable.”