Peace is a sense of calm; a quiet state of mind; harmony among people; tranquility.
A call for peace is repeated during the holiday season. We seek peace for ourselves, families, schools, workplaces, communities, nations and the world. We ask for a blessing of peace privately, on greeting cards and in groups. ‘Tis the season to be merry, right? Some moments, yes. And some, definitely, no.
What moments do you love? In December, I love when I am feeling “the spirit.” Some days, I just wake up in the Christmas spirit and it lasts most of the day. Some days, it takes longer to feel “the spirit,” and then it will just hit me – a song, a scent, a smile, helping someone else, visiting a friend or just having a good day. And other days, I can’t even remember it’s December!
Yet, this joyous season offers major opportunities for aggravation. Why does this month of ‘The Season of Peace and Good Will Toward Men” have to be so difficult? Are you ever aggravated? Did you know that aggravation is the greatest obstacle to peace? What aggravates you the most – do any of these sound familiar?
- interrupted plans
- working late
- crowded stores
- bad traffic
- sickness
- disagreements
- being wrong
- people’s needs and habits
- not doing enough
- doing too much
I could go on, but it’s the season of good will, and the purpose of this article is to promote peace. Instead, what is it about being aggravated that changes the mood and condemns the spirit? Anything that delays self-gratification is aggravating. Think about that statement and then review the list. What is it about the list? What is it about the holidays? Why is our peace interrupted? Because what we expect, want, desire, think is interrupted. The activity or plan that brings us the “spirit” we expect or have in mind is interrupted, and that is AGGRAVATING and disturbs the very effect we yearn for – peace, good will and “the spirit of the holiday season.”
If you really want those effects, the antidote for aggravation is acceptance. Accepting is the quality that demonstrates that we are not in control. The more we practice accepting that the tree may not be decorated on all four sides or the gifts may not all have bows, or the flight will be delayed, the less chance we lose sense of the peace and good will we desire to exude. The best reaction we can give to unexpected circumstances is to respond with dignity and grace, owning our part, practicing flexibility and forgiving others. Even the neighbor whose leaves aren’t picked up by the first snowfall or the woman in line who needs to run to get “one more thing.”
Wait. Pause. Take a deep breath. Exhale. Go with the flow. Accept that circumstances are not going to go as planned. For when acceptance is part of the expectation, room is made to:
- respond with dignity and grace
- allow for change
- become aware of other people’s needs, perspectives and schedules
- admit fault
- forgive freely
- include expectations of others, so everyone can participate and enjoy the holiday
- motivate growth to experience peace and share good will towards others
What do we want most from this holiday season? Peace. Is it impossible? No. Think of yourself as the agent of change for your own sanity, your family, friends, and even strangers. Your actions are the pebble that creates the ripple effect. You can either ripple aggravation and rage or ripple peace and good will.
Choose peace and good will. This world needs a lot of it. Remember:
- Take a deep breath.
- Go with the flow.
- Respond with dignity and grace.
- Admit fault.
- Forgive freely.
- Cultivate acceptance.
- Spread peace and good will.
Every season is a season for Peace. May you be richly blessed in the only way that matters: Peace of Mind, Heart and Spirit.
ABOUT DR. BETH PLACHETKA
THERAPIST FOR ADULTS AND ADOLESCENTS
As a licensed clinical social worker, therapist, speaker, adjunct professor in the School of Social Work at Aurora University and president of Safe Harbor Counseling in Sugar Grove, Illinois, Beth Plachetka, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MAEL brings 40 years of experience helping individuals, families and groups address and resolve psychological, social and interpersonal issues.
Dr. Beth’s expertise in assessing and strengthening relationships is applied in private practice counseling, school social work, teaching, and speaking engagements. As a therapist, Dr. Beth works closely with her clients to help them evaluate their progress and re-chart their course, so they can learn strategies, build confidence and identify support systems to gain the strength and confidence required for lasting change. Contact Dr. Beth for counseling.
SPEAKER FOR ORGANIZATIONS
For organizations to succeed and thrive, strong workplace relationships must be respectful, collaborative and in line with the mission and goals. If professional relationships are poor, it leaves a negative impact on the organization and customers suffer.
Beth’s knowledge of the importance of relationships at work is supported by her dissertation that focuses on adult bullying in the school setting and by earning her doctorate in curriculum and instruction. Her deep practical knowledge to identify and realign workplace relationships in educational systems and faith institutions provides her with the expertise required to improve team productivity and professional relationships.
Presenting on a variety of topics related to bullying and mental health, Beth uses humor as well as effective and practical strategies to improve workplace culture, counteract the devastation of bullying and mitigate the symptoms that result from workplace bullying. Beth’s presentations reflect her years of experience as a teacher with clearly stated objectives, outcomes, activities and interactions that both inspire and educate. Contact Dr. Beth to speak at your next event.
With licenses and certificates in elementary education, school social work, clinical social work and educational leadership, her family fondly (at least she hopes it’s fondly) refers to her as “certifiable.”